How to Choose a Mentor

How to Choose a MentorHow to Choose a MentorDont ask your boss to be your mentor.Its the convenient choice, if youve been thinking of getting a workplace big brotherbei or sister. But Lois Zachary, author of The Mentees Guide Making Mentoring Work for You, advises against following your gutand especially conveniencewhen making a choice of mentors.Zacharys book, (written with Lory Fischler ), takes a mathematical approach to finding a perfect fit (literallyshe has an equation), and also offers no-nonsense tips for navigating sticky situations, like when your mentoring partner prefers discussing her marriage over work issues.We asked her our burning questions about finding, keeping, and closing a mentorship with graceand heres what she had to say.On Finding a MentorZachary advises against sticking to obvious choices, suggesting instead that you make a list of all your contacts (and their contacts) and weigh the pros and cons of each. Of course, youll want to keep meeting people to faci litate this processand when you do, put your best foot forward.Just as with dating (which the mentoring process strangely resembles) Use your network and make it work for you, Zachary advises. Reach out to people, but dont assume you really know themask questions. You need to be likeable, enthusiastic, and make yourself interesting.On Starting Out on Good FootHonesty is truly the best policyand the sooner you can implement that policy, the better. Communication can become muddled or insincere, Zachary says, noting that without both parties fully present and engaged, mentoring is pretty much useless. If Im withholding and not honest or authentic, then Im going through the motionsand the motions are not going through me.You know that pushy friend you have who you always smile and nod at, then vent to your other friend about? You want to avoid that kind of a relationship in a mentorship at all costs. Zacharys key to working through differences Not posturing, but really aligning what yo u say, what you feel, and what you do.For more on mentoring, read the full interview with Lois ZacharyCathryn Vandewater, Vault.com